You say it best: Thoughts on unseen sexism
Reading time: 3 minutes
By Alice Austin
It was a beautiful day in May 2013 and we were celebrating my grandma’s 80th birthday. Over 100 guests were milling around a beautiful garden in Sevenoaks. Magnums of rosé were chilling in large buckets under a marquee where a band was covering the classics (the singer was from Hollyoaks, no joke). An animated game of round-the-world ping pong was unfolding on the lawn and a team of fresh-faced waiters were serving a steady stream of canapés. So why, surrounded by all my family and friends, was I sitting at a table silently seething?
I was ‘having a conversation’ with my brother and a male relative that we saw every couple of years or thereabouts. The relative, let’s call him Uncle Dave, wanted to know all about my brother’s job in advertising. What was his boss like? Decent commute? What clients was he working on? Dave was dishing out some great advice on how to handle that tricky colleague and how to nail that client presentation.
It was an interesting conversation – except I wasn’t part of it. As soon as I’d begin to say something I’d find I’d lost my opening. Dave was on a roll, a fountain of knowledge and experience, sharing his wisdom willingly and with generosity of spirit.
Thing is, I also worked in advertising. It’s just that Dave hadn’t even bothered to ask what I did.
So when I read this story in The Guardian, Trump did to Merkel what men to do women all the time, it hit a nerve. This form of sexism isn’t talked about enough. Are the male friends and relatives who I interact with every day aware that this happens? How can they be if we don’t talk about it?
Sexism takes many forms. I’m lucky to be surrounded day-to-day by people on the same page as me. However, it’s important to create a dialogue with our male counterparts around these scenarios, otherwise they slip under the radar.
The conversation with Uncle Dave moved on and I haven’t mentioned it to anybody until now. I feared, along with many other women, that if I brought it up at the time I would be told it was an overreaction or a misunderstanding. But it’s not though, is it gals?
So now we’re talking about it, we can look out for it together; and show the Uncle Dave’s out there that we all deserve to be part of the conversation.
